Q | What can I do to prepare for my care at the end of life?
To prepare for your care at the end of life, try advance care planning and funeral planning. Advance care planning will help you prepare for your medical care during a serious illness or at the end of life. Funeral planning will help you make arrangements for the care of your body and your legacy after you die. You may also think about how you define a “good death”:
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Would you like to die at home, on hospice, in a hospital, or another location?
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Would you like visitors with you at the end of life (or only certain visitors) or would you prefer to be alone?
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What would make you most comfortable at the end of your life?
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What kinds of personal care, especially related to your gender identity, would be important to you?
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Would you like to be buried or cremated? How would you like your body cared for after death?
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Would you like a viewing? A memorial service? An obituary?
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Do you have a specific funeral home in mind?
These are a few questions to consider as you prepare for your care at the end of life. For more, take a look at the LGTBQ+ Advance Care Planning Toolkit→ from SAGE and the Getting Your Affairs in Order Checklist→ from the National Institute on Aging.
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Q | Who will make medical decisions for me if I become unable?
If you have named a healthcare proxy or if you have a legal guardian, this person will make medical decisions for you if you become unable. If you do not have a healthcare proxy or guardian, your next of kin will make medical decisions for you if you become unable. The order of next of kin depends on the laws in your state. For example, in Virginia, your next of kin would be named from the following list:
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legal guardian
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spouse
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adult child
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parent
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adult sibling
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another relative
To find the laws for your state, search “healthcare next of kin law [insert your state]” using a search engine like Google.
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Q | How do I go about making funeral plans? What should I consider?
Funeral planning may involve the following steps:
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Make plans for the kind of funeral and memorial that would best celebrate your life.
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Appoint an agent to carry out funeral arrangements (process varies by state).
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Record your funeral wishes in a will or “disposition of bodily remains” form.
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Discuss funeral wishes with your agent.
Note. The process for naming your funeral agent is separate from naming your healthcare proxy. The healthcare proxy’s role often ends when a person dies. Then, the funeral agent would take the responsibility of funeral decision-making.
Check out the SAGE LGBTQ+ Advance Care Planning Toolkit→ for more information on funeral planning.
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